get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
