I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
