I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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