How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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