my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
