Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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