We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
