No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
there is glitter all over my balls
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