Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
