What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
