i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
