Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
