his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
