I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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