my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
