Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
YAS. BRING CRAB.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
