i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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