I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
