i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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