but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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