ugly people sure do ruin things
it was like having sex with a tree stump
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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