We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
