awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
