we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
