I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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