I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
