Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
