My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
