he shaved USA in his pubs
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
