So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
