They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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