what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
