This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
