"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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