Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
