Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
