She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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