Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So much rum. So many feels.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
