you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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