then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
