Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
