You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the condom got lost in my hair
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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