No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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