Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
