every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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