oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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