i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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