all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
