Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
