Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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