Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
