Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
