Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
