hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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