Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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